heart on paper

reanimate me.

2009-06-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

I know that i didn't look out below

When i watched the time go right out the window

Trying to grab hold, trying not to watch

I waisted it all on the hands of the clock.

-Enth E Nd

I want to be in another place

I hate when you say you don't understand

I want to be with the energy, not with the enemy

A place for my head.

-Plc.4 Mie Haed

Everything falls apart

Even the people who never frown

Eventually break down

The sacrifice is never knowing

-P5hng Me A*wy

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here’s not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia’s all I got left
I don’t know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It’s like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face that watches everytime I lie
A face that laughs everytime I fall
And watches everything
So, know that when it’s time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right underneath my skin

It’s like I’m paranoid looking over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like a face inside that’s right beneath my skin

Hey, yo
Here we go again with the pain I feel isn’t real
But in my mind, I find myself in places with names but not faces
My memory races at speeds
Hundred degrees
My soul bleeds, devil must’ve planted the seed
Now it feels like my back’s against the wall
I’m taking the fall
Whenever I call nobody’s responding at all
But I don’t know who I can trust
The screaming my name
I need somebody to help me out of the frame
All I’m trying to do is just master me
All I want to do is smoke a blast-to-beat
But something keeps talking to me
Consciously, responsibly, keeps haunting me from dusk ’til dawn
Everything has something for you
That voice inside of your head got you projecting paranoia
Cold sweat shining on your face
Exposing your purpose
And if I ripped off your skin I’d probably find another person
There’s nothing worse than trying to bring yourself on back from the dead
So I advise you: listen to that voice in the back of your head

It’s like I’m paranoid looking over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like a face inside that’s right beneath my skin

It’s like I’m paranoid looking over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like a face inside that’s right beneath my skin

The face inside is right beneath your skin
The face inside is right beneath your skin
The face inside is right beneath your skin
The face inside is right beneath your skin

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me
The sun goes down
It’s like I’m paranoid
I feel the light betray me
The sun goes down
Can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin

It’s like I’m paranoid looking over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like a face inside that’s right beneath my skin

-Ppr:Kut

Jesus Christ!

2009-06-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face

The kind you'd find on someone that could save

If they don't put me away

Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out

That everything good is happening somewhere else?

But with nobody in your bed

The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone

And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again

So what did you do those three days you were dead?

'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,

I'm a little bit scared of what comes after

Do I get the gold chariot?

Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?

'cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

And the ship went down in sight of land

And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you're coming in the night like a thief

But I've had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique

I know you think that I'm someone you can trust

But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign

So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me

But we all got wood and nails

And we turn out hate in factories

We all got wood and nails

And we turn out hate in factories

We all got wood and nails

And we sleep inside of this machine

I'm not perfect.

Never have been.

Never will be.

How can God trust people like us?

We're so messed up and stupid.

Longing for the night to come

only so we can do it all over again.

I'm not afraid of Love,

just scared for what comes after.

It's so unpredictable,

I only predict what I hope for.

I predict faith.

I predict life.

I predict Trevor.

God let it be true.

only for them.

2009-06-08T07:47:00.001-07:00

7 things I want to carry on to my kids:

1. My faith
2. My first Bible
3. My music
4. Class ring
5. Thumper, my bunny
6. My parents/in laws
7. Story of how daddy and I met

poem of what's ours.

2009-06-08T07:35:00.000-07:00

I cannot think with this hideous music playing in my dumb accounting class. I would love to write you a poem Trev, but it's really hard to think with the music. And Jim has my headphones watching his dumb paintball videos, so I can't even focus with your music.

I'll post my old poem for all to see.

What's Ours

Shall we gaze up at the dreary sky

Where the trees skim the Earth?

Or the clouds that swoop across the stars?
Inadvertently we had stirred along the ground
With streaks of white beyond us.
Bur our memories soak within its depths
Ready to pour onto my heart.

What a magnificent day to hold.

I'll keep it forever in a chest

Created of what's yours, mine, and ours.

The twinkle in the eyes of my treasure

Glow with an abundance of truth.

It does not break and will not rust.

Our time is renewed that had been before.

It intensifies the hearts of gold

And sends a shiver down the spine of doubt.

The doubt does not move

It only disapears from the soul.

We're calloused and bruised from the start

Who should remember anyways?

Not someone like me.

I will only Carpe Diem!

i think of you whenever life gets me down.

2009-06-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

I have to express how mad I'm going over here.

I miss Trevor so darn much.

All I have is his music to keep me calm.

7 things i wish weren't true:

1. Global Warming

2. Sara's in Nigeria

3. I suck at math

4. Athiests exist

5. I cry when i watch Fox and the Hound

6. People are starving

7. I'm not with Trevor

you picked me.

2009-06-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

One, two, three
Counting out the signs we see
The tall buildings
Fading in the distance
Only dots on a map
Four, five, six
The two of us a perfect fit
You're all mine, all mine

And all I can say is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me; yeah you picked me

So softly
Rain against the windows
And the strong coffee
Warming up my fingers
In this fisherman's house
You got me
Searched the sand
And climbed the tree
And brought me back down

__________________________________________________________________

Trevor Herrygers sends me such beautiful music.

Most people don't think about the magic of lyrics.

It makes you feel so much.

This song makes me feel loved.

It's like, "Dude, I know exactly how you feel, Alison Sudol!"